Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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