Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she woke up with a sticky ear
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
