would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize