looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
