brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
