So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
