We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
