How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
