I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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