apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
