ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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