I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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