Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
