sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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