You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
