ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
