I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So squirting runs in the family.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
