Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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