It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
