Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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