are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
