she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
