Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
