dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
