tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They took my balls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
