Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
did i walk over a car last night?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
