I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
