I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
