We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
your room smells of hookers.
And success
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
