she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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