This dress was meant to end up on your floor
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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