My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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