he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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