Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
