she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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