The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
