he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
