My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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