i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
