Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
