Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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