i think my mom watched the whole time
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize