dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
