i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
