it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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