I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he thought i was a dude.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
