just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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