Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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