You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize