If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i think my cat just said my name.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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