VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
