I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
