Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
