Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
