the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
