if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
