People in love make me want to vomit
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
