apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
