Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
