some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
