Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
