I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
