I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
