I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
