so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
