This is not my ceiling
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
