do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She bit a glass in half.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize